you deserved better | personal


So, this is a short poem-letter thing I wrote for someone that I used to care about three years ago.
I never really gave much thought to this piece of writing over the last few years and frankly, the person it was written for. That is, until last night.

When I found out that they had committed suicide.

I never thought that something I wrote — in secret, years ago, about someone I genuinely cared about — would come back to haunt me in the worst way possible.

I'm utterly speechless as to what happened and I can't even begin to imagine what his family is going through right now. I just hope this poem will do his memory, his life and his impact on me, justice. I don't have anything else to say, so I'll leave you with this.

To L,
I'm sorry.
You are loved.
You deserved better.



29/12/15 - 2/3/18

What I want is to immortalise you with these words.

I want these words to capture just what you meant to me,
and more.

I want to go back to the start and see you for the first time.

I want the simple motion of your hair falling in your eyes to render me speechless again.
I want the depth of your eyes to steal my soul away and slowly, piece by broken piece, return it to me whenever we share a holy glance.
I want my name to roll off your tongue and fly off your lips, like it was your one and only saving grace.
What I want is the simple and most sacred pleasure,
of calling you mine. 

I want the knots in my stomach to tighten like the first time you spoke to me.
I want the anticipation and the fear, the desire and apprehension to envelope me whole like it always did when you smiled at my unsuspecting eyes.
I want my head to grow nervous and dizzy with the hope of your touch like the first time you 
 grabbed my hand,
 grabbed my waist,
and spun me into a wonderful eternity.
I want to see you under a twilight sky, dancing with all the passion in your soul, like you did on our final and fateful night.

I want to go back to the start, when it was always you, when I wasn’t expecting you, when I wasn’t searching for you, but you found me anyway. 

I want you to know that though we’ve gone separate ways,
my memories will stay.
And I want you to know,
That the memory of you,

Will remain immortal as long as these words breathe on this page.

You Might Also Like


Popular Posts

Like us on Facebook

Flickr Images