you deserved better | personal

01:24

So, this is a short poem-letter thing I wrote for someone that I used to care about three years ago.
I never really gave much thought to this piece of writing over the last few years and frankly, the person it was written for. That is, until last night.

When I found out that they had committed suicide.

I never thought that something I wrote — in secret, years ago, about someone I genuinely cared about — would come back to haunt me in the worst way possible.

I'm utterly speechless as to what happened and I can't even begin to imagine what his family is going through right now. I just hope this poem will do his memory, his life and his impact on me, justice. I don't have anything else to say, so I'll leave you with this.

To L,
I'm sorry.
You are loved.
You deserved better.

RIP x

~~~

29/12/15 - 2/3/18


What I want is to immortalise you with these words.

I want these words to capture just what you meant to me,
and more.

I want to go back to the start and see you for the first time.

I want the simple motion of your hair falling in your eyes to render me speechless again.
I want the depth of your eyes to steal my soul away and slowly, piece by broken piece, return it to me whenever we share a holy glance.
I want my name to roll off your tongue and fly off your lips, like it was your one and only saving grace.
What I want is the simple and most sacred pleasure,
of calling you mine. 

I want the knots in my stomach to tighten like the first time you spoke to me.
I want the anticipation and the fear, the desire and apprehension to envelope me whole like it always did when you smiled at my unsuspecting eyes.
I want my head to grow nervous and dizzy with the hope of your touch like the first time you 
 grabbed my hand,
 grabbed my waist,
and spun me into a wonderful eternity.
I want to see you under a twilight sky, dancing with all the passion in your soul, like you did on our final and fateful night.

I want to go back to the start, when it was always you, when I wasn’t expecting you, when I wasn’t searching for you, but you found me anyway. 

I want you to know that though we’ve gone separate ways,
my memories will stay.
And I want you to know,
That the memory of you,

Will remain immortal as long as these words breathe on this page.


You Might Also Like

0 comments

Popular Posts

Like us on Facebook

Flickr Images